Poverty. Famine. Rioting. Lesbianism. Baby-murdering. Strife and misery of all forms. Let's face it -- Satan has been hard at work. Well, that surly, pansexual, reptilian weirdo's time has finally come.
Next Tuesday, March 2, at 6pm sharp, meet me behind the BP station on the corner of 16th Street North and 41st Avenue in St. Petersburg, Florida. I will be the guy driving a Cadillac Escalade with a bazooka mounted to the top.
We will drive to Hell blaring Aerosmith's "Don't Get Mad, Get Even." We will tie up Satan and waterboard him for several hours as we get information out of him regarding The Barack Obama Agenda.
We will then take a shot of Jack Daniels, drive a couple hundred yards in the opposite direction, turn around, and bazooka him into a million little Satanic worm pieces.
These worm pieces will be placed in an airtight container (you my assistants will do that), brought back to Earth (we will do this together), and fed to immigrants who rape children (I can take care of that).
See you on Tuesday.
