Doris Day - Whatever Will Be, Will Be .mp3 | ||
Found at bee mp3 search engine |
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Posted at 01:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby .mp3 | ||
Found at bee mp3 search engine |
Unlike Vanilla Ice, I am not as cool as ice... but I am as cool as dry ice, which I think is probably the next best thing.
Posted at 05:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I'm not totally unscrupulous, but I do only have one scruple... and I guess even that one is kind of a stretch. It's a commitment to stop eating when I'm full.
Posted at 06:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
If you are a fan of both America and love, can I recommend the bumper sticker of an American flag in the shape of a heart?
Posted at 09:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I made a horrible mistake the other day -- I thanked my unlucky stars. You really don't want to egg those ones on.
Posted at 09:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Some people are wise beyond their years. I am wise about 15 years shy of my years.
Posted at 09:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
The worst business decision I ever made was producing a spinoff show of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy called Queer Eye for Chicks With Dicks. The show was clearly approximately 250 years ahead of its time.
Posted at 01:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Come join me at my sales conference, The Wellspring of Bullshit Happening. You will learn important sales tools, such as the following: Though it is difficult to sell ice to Eskimos, it is becoming easier every year, due to global warming. It is estimated that by 2020, over 50% of Eskimos will be regularly buying ice. Hint, hint -- developing niche market!
Posted at 01:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
The last thing you want to do is make that guy angry. That's also the first thing you want to do, and what you want to do throughout your interactions with him. Keep that guy angry at all times.
Posted at 01:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
A topic that is too often ignored is the financial outlook of the homeless population in the United States.
Most homeless people have terrible credit -- way, way below 700. Generally, their credit is a negative number, or at best a fraction.
Here is a typical interaction between a homeless person and a lender:
"What's your credit score?"
"57-hundredths."
"You qualify to borrow a quarter from me at 3000% five-minute interest."
"Hm. I think I'm going to shop around for better rates."
"Okay, but this offer may not still be on the table."
"I'll take my chances."
"You sound like a man who doesn't want a quarter."
"Fine, give me the damn thing."
"Great. Just sign this contract. Okay, fantastic. As I'm sure you must have noticed in the fine print, I will hold all of your personal belongings as collateral. I will start burning them in five minutes. We will incinerate one personal item every five minutes unless a minimum payment of a quarter is made during that same time period until the loan is paid off in full. I will go ahead and douse all of the items with lighter fluid in preparation."
"Is this what they call 'predatory lending'?"
"The clock is ticking, prey."
Posted at 09:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)