A sales pitch I've always wanted to make is to walk into a room with a ski mask on, and shout, "ALRIGHT, EVERYONE GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY... in exchange for this high quality, cost-effective, and time-saving product," as I pull an intricate, multi-function kitchen gadget out of my back pocket. It's just the kind of bait-and-switch we have all been waiting for: one in which potential customers realize they are not in imminent danger (bait), but instead have an amazing opportunity (switch) to bring to food preparation in their very own kitchen a level of ease and sophistication previously only accessible to high-end chefs and the fabulously wealthy-- for a limited time, because somebody probably called the cops, and if history is any indication, they are bound to confiscate all this product I have in my duffel bag.